Having been in the construction business for more than 25 years, primarily residential painting, I’ve been in thousands of homes, worked around lots of weirdos, and I’ve seen and heard what some of these, “professionals”, do when you’re not around. If you’ve found a good Contractor, chances are, this list is not for your. Just so I don’t get beat up at Home Depot, let me first say that NOT all contractors are shady, not even most of them, but there’s certainly enough of them to easily compile 10 more lists of naughtiness. That being said, here are the top 10 things your contractor might be doing when you’re not around…
NOTE: The list starts from the most innocent to the most scandalous, so if you find yourself disgusted half-way through the list, DO NOT KEEP READING…IT ONLY GETS WORSE.
HERE WE GO:
1. Your contractor is eating your food. Although individually packaged dry-goods like granola bars and fruit snacks are being raided from your pantry, you should be more concerned by the fact that he’s eating food from the fridge right out of the container and drinking your milk, soda and OJ from the container too.
2. Your contractor is watching your TV, on your couch, while he eats your food. If he doesn’t like you, he’ll probably season the food with something, and spit is always a readily available ingredient.
3. There wasn’t anything good to watch, so your contractor just ordered a movie from your TV’s menu…And you blamed your husband or son for the mysterious charge for the adult video.
4. Got anything to drink in this joint? Beer or liquor is preferred cuz wine just gives him a headache. Your contractor is sleepy-time, so he takes a nap on your bed, unless there’s another more comfortable bed within stumbling distance.
5. Hey, there’s a bed-side night-stand, your contractor looks in it because he knows there’s a good chance he’ll find something worth looking for…a diary to read, or maybe even some battery operated device…hey, that’s no flashlight!
6. Intrigued by the nightstand, your contractor browses your dresser drawers…first stop, undergarments.
7. If your contractor finds anything that looks like it could be a home movie, you better believe he’s gonna watch it. If he gives it a good review, he’ll probably even take it home and maybe even share it with a friend.
8. If your contractor is a bit on the naughty side, keep your dirty clothes in a safe, cuz there’s surely something in there that would strike his fancy.
9. So, you’re gone for a few days? Good, then your contractor can invite his ol’ lady over without worrying about you interrupting them on the couch, then in your bed. She forgot her toothbrush and she usually likes to brush her teeth in the morning…good thing you left one of yours.
10. You’ve done something to upset your contractor. He doesn’t like you anymore, so he’s going to do whatever he can to get even without getting caught and without risking NOT getting paid. This may or may not include, using your toothbrush to clean the toilet or his backside, re-visiting your fridge or freezer to see if there’s any more, “ingredients”, he could add to your lasagna, leave something stinky in between your mattress and box-spring. Maybe he’s sees some things he feel he’s earned, despite the fact that they’re in your closet and they weren’t in the original contract, nor were they added in the change order.
I could keep going, but the moral of the story is, choose wisely when choosing a contractor. If you leave them alone in your home, either set up a few nanny-cams or at least make them think the place is being surveyed. I’ve told every one of my employees for many years now to always assume you’re being watched and recorded while in a customers home, so don’t do anything you wouldn’t want on YouTube.